What fatherhood means to me

Congratulations to you if you are a father! Today is Father’s Day and it is good that we thank our fathers for playing a part in bringing us into this world, and making us to be what we are. Fatherhood is something to be treasured and thought about because every person who is alive has a father, whether living or dead, present or not present. It is good to have a father because fatherhood offers many things, among them protection and identity. I remember an old friend of mine who used to say that if you are a man, you should not despise your father, however drunk or stupid you may think he is, because when he is dead, that is when you will realize how important he was. All the responsibilities he used to shoulder will fall on you. All the societal expectations that he used to meet will have to be met by you. This reminds me to talk about my father, the late John Stephen Onienga. I can’t remember much of him because he died when I was 10 years old. But there are images that I can remember of him and things about him that I can remember, which any father could be associated with. I remember many times him calling me and asking me to accompany him to the shops to buy either milk or bread or any other thing that was needed in the house. In a subtle way, this made me to realize that a father has to provide for his family, and that the father had a responsibility to go out there, just because of the family. At the same time, it made me realize that a man can provide support to the wife, who may be busy and thus may not be able to go and buy groceries or foodstuff for the family. My father used to be a lover of poultry keeping, and particularly chicken. Many times he would ask me to accompany him as he went to look for chicken feeds in the local flour milling shop. And we collected the chicken feeds together. My dad was known in the village as the one with the most healthy-looking chicken. This again was a training that a man has to work with his hands, work with a passion and follow the desire of his heart. One other thing that I remember my dad for was his insistence that any child of the female gender should not leave the house after seven in the evening. This also meant that seven in the evening was the latest time that one was allowed to be out of the house. Even though at that time we thought he was frivolous, today I can look with hindsight and say that he knew what he was doing because he was doing that to protect us. He knew the dangers that lurk in the dark. I could go on and on remembering my father. He was not a perfect man but at least there are things I can say I learnt from him, and which I intend to pass on to the next generation. Every father has been called to be a role model to his children, because even God our father, is a role model of love, provision, peace and chastity to us, his creation. If you are a father and are reading this, congratulations, and remember to play the role that society expects of you: be a positive role model in society. If you have a father, please send him a present today or good wishes greetings. If yours is not around or near, find a father figure and do the same for him.